They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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