I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
