Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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