the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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