somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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