from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
