tell your sister to shave her snatch
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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