Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize