the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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