Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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