I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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