2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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