I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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