Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
