i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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