Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
