don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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