you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
