He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
