That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
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I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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