i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
