omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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