I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
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And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
we should paint friendship bongs
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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