This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
