ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
