Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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