How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
