im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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