a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
