that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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