I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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