wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
