i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
