I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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