I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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