You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
