Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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