okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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