just tell him i said nine months
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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