Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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