I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it glows. i had to have it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i've created a new STD.
Randomize
