i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
