I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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