Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think your dad took our porno
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
