Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
