You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
