oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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