Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have demons in me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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