Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
