And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
