just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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