Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
