so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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