I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
