I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
