Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
