wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize