I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
