Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
