After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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