16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
