we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
