I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
