3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
